Much is made of the doula's role in mothering the mother, but what about the father? How can he be helped by the presence of a doula in the birthing room and at home?

Doulas exist to support and help the whole family unit, not just the mother, although her main emphasis is on the mother and her baby. Fathers can be helped in the birthing room by being supported emotionally and practically by a loving and supportive doula. We have had some clients who have found it made all the difference to them to know that they could leave the birthing room if they needed to - even briefly - knowing that their partner was not on her own.

One father, for example, had a phobia of hospitals and, although he wanted to support his wife, he was afraid that if he could not cope with the event that he would panic and leave her on her own. Having a doula there meant that he was able to be calmer, knowing that his wife would not be left alone even if he had to go out. With the pressure off, he was able to stay happily in the birthing room for the whole event.

In some cases, because of the father's attitude to birth, it is not a good idea for him to be in the birthing room with the mother. Quite often the father's fear is absorbed by the mother which can have a harmful effect on the birth. In some cases, the trauma of attending the birth can affect a man so deeply that it is detrimental to the relationship later on. Of course, everyone is different and for some fathers, attending the birth of their child is an event they would not miss for the world, but for those for whom it is a problem, the presence of a doula can be the best answer.

Post-birth doulas help fathers by keeping the household going, making food for the whole family, as well as the mother, and making sure that everyone is supported and helped in the crucial first few weeks of the baby's life. Whether the father is at home during the day or only comes back after work, the doula will be able to help him by showing him how to care for the baby and for his partner, and by strengthening and encouraging the mother so that she continues to be a joy for him to be around.